Chemistry Teacher:Can you give me the formula for water?
Chemistry Teacher:Where did you get an idea like that?
Student:You told us it was H’to’O.————————-
Patientoctor,if a person’s brain stops working ,deos he die?
Doctor:How can you ask such a stupid question!You’re alive,aren’t you?
A man was given the job of painting white lines down the middle of the road.The first day he did 10 miles;the second day he did 4 miles;the third day he did less than a mile.His foreman was furious.’How come you’re doing less each day?”Because each day i get further away from the can of the paint.’
Employer:In this job we’re looking for someone who’s responsible.
Applicant:Then I’m your man.In my last job,whenever anything went wrong,they said I was responsible.
A wife who’d been married many times rushed up to her husband ,who had also been married many times.’Come quickly!’she said.’My kids and your kids are beating up our kids!’
Teacher: Sam, when was Rome built?
Sam:It was built during the night.
Teacher:The night!Where did you ever get such an idea?
Sam:Well,everyone knows that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Son:What has 50 legs,big blue eyes on stems, and a red body with green stripes?
Dad:I give up.What?
Son:I don’t know either, but it’s crawling on your collar right this minute.
Man 1:Money means nothing to me.
Man 2:In that case,the guy who just picked your pocket got away with nothing.
Waiter : George Washington once dined at this very table.
Diner : Is that why you haven’t changed the table cloth since?
A little girl’s grandmother was driving her car very rashly. ‘Don’t go around the corners so fast, grandma,she pleaded.’
‘Do what I do, dear,’ said the grandmother, ‘and close your eyes!’